Although motherhood is the best thing ever happened to us, it is equally overwhelming. Being a new mommy is tough. Doing it all by ourselves while healing from the delivery pain is really really difficult.
PPD or postpartum depression is another hindrance in creating the precious bonding with the baby. The first 40 days postpartum are really very important. I myself struggled with few things. I'll try to share my journey as well as the solutions I found for my difficulties.
I had opted for an elective cesarean delivery. People's judgments about my choice of delivery method was the first problem I faced. The only solution to this is ignoring. People learn their lessons when they are ignored and their judgments are not given importance. Our peace of mind is of utmost importance at that time.
Connecting with our own baby is sometimes difficult although we love them unconditionally. My case was something similar. I was so overwhelmed with the mom responsibilities that I couldn't just look at my baby and adore her for few moments. It was tough. Doing all the mom duties while healing from a c section is tough. The sleep deprived and bleeding mom needs help. Solution to this problem is simple. Ask for help whenever you need. Do not try to do it all alone. Take family support. If you're not lucky enough to have family support then hire an external help. It is a must.
I wasn't really in the best mindset postpartum and would often express my feelings on social media. But I was judged for that as well. Some people might not be with you when they should be. But nothing Is in your hands. All you can do is take whatever support you have and ignore the rest.
My toughest struggle was with breastfeeding
I delivered during covid second wave. It was too much pressure already. Protecting the baby and yourself from covid was tough. Isolation from my friends and family was putting too much pressure on myself. I wasn't able to breastfeed her properly. There was a latching issue initially. Not being able to feed your child after being a mom is the biggest challenge for a mom's mind. I cried
everyday. I tried every possible remedy from a nipple shield to an inverted syringe. But nothing seemed to work. I was given perinorm tablets to increase the very poor supply i had initially. Then there was engorgement pain. It was a very bad struggle overall. What acted negatively was the tremendous pressure put by the doctors, nurses. I agree, breastfeeding is very good but let us also normalize formula feeding as well. I succumbed to the pressure and spent a fortune on a lactation consultant. But it didn't help either. So I learnt the following lessons with respect to breastfeeding.
1. Read about breastfeeding before giving birth.
2. Consult a good lactation expert at the right time.
3. Invest In a good quality breast pump (preferably an electric one). Although pumping, feeding, sanitizing the bottles is very tiring. So it's best to directly breastfeed. Advantage of pumping is another family members can feed the baby and mother can get some rest. Learn about the correct feeding positions and latching techniques. Because that's what is wrong most of the times.
4. Practice utmost hygiene while bottle feeding like washing, sterilizing bottles etc. Bottle feeding if done correctly isn't bad.
5. Take rest whenever you can. Follow a good diet, take your calcium supplements timely while breastfeeding.
6. Do mild exercises suggested by the physiotherapist to get your body back to normal routine. Body changes a lot after delivery. Take short walks after it has been advised.
7. Invest in a good feeding pillow/take support of normal pillows while feeding because feeding puts pressure on the back . Also keep nipple butter, breast pads and feeding cover ready.
8. Keep the hospital bag ready with all the stuff you would need at 34 weeks.
9. Invest in things that will help you in recovery like cooling pads, maternity pads and panties.
10. For a smooth recovery post c section, take lot of rest. Keep moving. Take care of your wound. Have a good diet and rest whenever you can. Watch out for symptoms such as pain and swelling in the wound and high fever for initial few days after c section. These can be symptoms of the wound infection.
11. The back pain post c section isn't related to the spinal anesthesia. Please don't associate it with c section. Starting your daily activities and movements post c section is must for good recovery.
12. Care for your stitches as advised by the doctor post delivery. It is very important. (No personal experience with normal delivery).
13. Seek help if you think you're suffering from PPD. Watch out for symptoms such as sadness, loneliness, and depression. Seek
professional help if needed. PPD is very common.
14. Ignore all the unwanted advises given by relatives, and people around you. Follow only those which you feel are correct.
These are the most precious days for the mother as well as baby. You might feel overwhelmed with the baby responsibilities, sleep deprivation and tiredness. But these days are not going to come back. Support from my family was the biggest plus point of my postpartum period. So enjoy your days as new mom with your tiny little one as far as you can. They grow up in blink of an eye.
PS - please follow your doctor's advice for any query or problems. These are just my personal experiences.
