The books that made an impact

I was never a book worm kind of person but then I like to read in my leisure time. I feel that I have a different taste.I am not the one who likes to read Harry Potter kind of books. I like the books with an emotional touch.
Here are few books which made an impact on me. They changed my perspective and shaped up my thought process.

We the living :  This is a book by Ayn Rand. The story takes place in the Soviet post revolutionary era. This book has the best characterization. I like the book only if I am able to relate to the characters. The strong central character that of Kira, is the USP of this book. Her journey from being a raw teenager to a strong independent woman has been captured very beautifully. It has a sense of reality to it. It is said to be a book based on Ayn's own life. The sacrifices done by Kira, are described very beautifully keeping her emotions alive.The expression of her sentiments through different incidents is one of the best I have ever read. The incident where Leo leaves her is one of those incidents which you can actually feel.I loved this novel, instead of being a tragic one. All the characters are layered and truly very expressive. The main protagonist - Leo has some gray shades but somewhere you feel that his behavior is fully justified. At the end, I ended up crying and everytime I read this book, I will end up crying every time.

The diary of a young girl : This is one of the books which I read when I was a teenager. Again having a background of world war two, this is a book which inspired me to write my diary and most probably my blog too. The emotions of a teenager are expressed in the most beautiful way in this book. Being a teenager, I was able to relate to it more I guess. The struggle of Frank's family to hide from Nazi government teaches you a lot of things. I realized the quality of life I have and the things I don't need to struggle for. It taught me to value the "freedom" I have. It also taught me to express my mind and heart without having any inhibitions. The amazing way in which this young girl has written her diary is commendable. I now understand many relationships in my life much better than before.

Coma: This book is a medical thriller by Robin Cook. Many people find it very ordinary. I read this book when I was dreaming of a medical career. Again the thing I liked the most is the strong and subtle characterization. The story keeps you hooked till the end. This is one of the best suspense thrillers I have read till date. It changes your perspective towards the most noble profession in this world and shows the other side of it. You can actually feel 'chills running down your spine'.

P.S. I Love You : Well this is a very emotional one. But I liked it again for it's gripping story and the subtle emotions. The journey of Holy from being a depressed, good for nothing girl to a independent free spirited girl touches your heart. And the fact that her lost love gives her this strength is the best thing about it. This novel has taught me to be strong in worst of the situations and look at the brighter side of life.


Little Women: This is story of four sisters and their struggle for the life. The most loved characters from this book have to be that of Joe and Lorrie. The story emphasizes the name 'Little Women' and you go through the lives of these little four sisters. You feel their joy, their sorrow, their insecurities and even their future plans. Your heart stops beating when Joe says 'No' to Lorrie. And you feel that her decision was the most wise one when you read the novel till its end.

Well, these are very few of them but are the ones most loved by me. I ll keep adding to the list.  :)

Changu Lake :)

I was bitten by the 'Travelling' bug for quite some time now. After visiting some awesome places across the world, I was craving to go to Darjeeling. The actual story was,I had gone to Manali after my 10th standard exams and my parents and my kid brother went to Darjeeling and Nepal. I was jealous basically.

So we finally planned it. :) We booked the flight tickets and the hotels.Our travel itinerary was ready. I was really excited. I was finally getting a break from my routine. I was waiting for the day.

We had a flight till Bagdogra and had booked a taxi for the next journey. We started our journey in the booked cab. The roads were dangerous indeed. The journey in the hilly region is one of scariest I ever had. We reached Gangtok somewhere around 8 in the night. The roads in the tiny city were too steep and the countryside was immensely beautiful. The native people were very lovely and warm. We immediately went to sleep after the long, tiring journey.

Next day, we were supposed to visit Changu lake and Nathula pass, a place very close to China border. But we were informed by our hotel manager that due to bad weather conditions, we won't be able to go till Nathula Pass. We were still excited.

Changu lake is a glacial lake in the East Sikkim, some 40 kilometres (25 mi) away from Gangtok at altitude of 3,780 m (12,400 ft). We started our journey in a Jeep with another family. I was sitting on the back seat and was enjoying the picturesque view through the window. But I never knew that this would indeed be the scariest journey of my life. I had visited Badrinath three years back. I thought it was the toughest journey but then it was not.

I was literally counting seconds during that journey from our hotel to Changu lake. I hate to admit this, but these are the only few hours in my life where I felt the fear for my life every second.Our vehicle driver was luckily a very skilled driver. The road was not a tar road. The visibility was almost zero because of the dense fog. And it started raining.
There was a time when we had to take a reverse for making way for a bus.The rear wheels of our jeep were on the edge of the valley.You need stability of  the mind to go through such situations. On our right side was the valley, rather we can call it 'death valley' . It was damn scary. And the worst part was that I was sitting on the right side. Hats off to the Jeep driver and I sincerely thank him for driving so carefully and skillfully to save our souls.

And then after this roller coaster journey, we finally reached the place. We had to rent jackets,boots, gloves and caps to protect ourselves from the chilly wind and cold. We were all decked up and ready for the next journey. We were either needed to rent a Yak or walk through the snow. The oxygen level was low.But we decided that we will walk.

It was one of the best experiences of my life time. After such a scary journey, it was indeed the best feeling in the world. It is a very divine and beautiful place. A lake surrounded with snow capped mountains was a unique sight. The lake is frozen in winter season. We started walking through the snow and soon tiny,fluffy white snow flakes started falling on us. It was the first snow fall I had experienced. The tiny white flakes were entangled in my hair, spread all over my face and I could feel the soft snow melting slowly. I don't have words to describe the feeling. All I can say that it is worth experiencing at least once in your life.

It teaches you to appreciate small beautiful things in this world.

The magic of a phone call

After learning the steps in the decision making process in the subject principles of management,  it was the time to actually apply them.
The objective was identified. The alternatives were also explored, which confused me more. But I had to reach some conclusion. What should I do in such a situation? Stay calm and composed and think as a third person. Consider all the situations, and ultimately make a wise decision being practical and not the usual sentimental fool.
I knew all the steps. But I was not able to interpret my impulsive, random emotions. I was very nervous. I pretended to be calm but I was not able to achieve the balance yet.
And all of a sudden, my phone rang. Just looking at it, I had a big smile on my face. My parents kept on asking me about the phone call but I didn't tell them anything. I just went outside and started my conversation. I had told my feelings to my friend in two words and it was enough. My friend straight away called me from Canada. I just poured my heart infront of my friend. I did not keep anything in my mind. We just kept on talking and talking.
This is one of the persons, with whom I share the awesome bond. We can share anything and everything with each other, literally anything and everything.  ;-)
So finally I felt really awesome after the fourty five minute long conversation. We laughed like crazy, and I felt we are really together with each other. I just remembered the old crazy days. I just forgot about the decision making too. :-P
This again strengthened my belief. `Friendship` is the best relationship in this world. It can simplify the most complex of the situations. The warmth and depth of this relationship is very unique. Noone can give you the unconditional love, trust, respect and space that a friend gives without expecting anything in return. It feels great when a friend makes you a priority. A friend is a person who can advice you without being partial. Friendship is the only relationship without any expectation.
 So atleast now, I am able to reach the conclusion for this post if not in my decision making process. Just talk to a friend in the most complex of the situations and you will find the solution easily. This is what I call the magic of a phone call.

Debugging my own thoughts

Sometimes you become the slaves of your own thoughts. You are not able to understand the complexity of them. You do some unsuccessful efforts to sort them. You need to be calm and composed for this. You try to control your own emotions but then you fail. At least in my case, I am not able to control my emotions at this point of time.
Then I feel, what if I was able to debug my own thoughts. Life would be so easy. By putting some break points, and adding some watches, I will be able to have a complete control on my thoughts and emotions.
While writing or debugging a code, we atleast know the output. But then at this point of time, I don't know where my thoughts want me to go. I wish, I was able to comment some of my thoughts, like the lines of code and achieve the output I want. I wish I could use a continue, and skip some of the thoughts. 
I am trying my best to reduce the complexity of them and unable to find the best possible way. Hopefully I will be able to achieve what I want.

From MH 12 CW 2570 to MH12 KW 4618

It's a long journey from my scooty pep to wego. It's almost nine years.
I still remember the day, when my dad purchased a scooty pep for me after I passed my 12th standard exams. I was a very shy girl who was even afraid of riding a bicycle on crowded Pune streets. But then I decided. I was very determined. Dad helped me a lot during my learning process. Hats off to him for that. After having my license I just decided and took my scooty to the over crowded J.M. Road.  And I was the happiest person in this world. I liked the ride and I was a successful rider. I felt like l just won a big battle.
That was just the beginning of an era. My scooty has given me happiness of riding in the night. It irritated me sometimes with flat tires. But she was a great support system, during my college as well as office days. I will always adore her as my first ride and I am emotionally attached to her.
But then, as it is more than eight years old  it was time to move on. She was giving me much trouble but then I was not complaining. She was my first love afterall. ;-)
I started looking for options. Dad enquired about various options. After asking few of my friends, I decided to buy Tvs Wego. We went to the showroom. We finalised a black one. I got the delivery on friday and it was a different joy altogether. It was my first prized possession afterall. And then, I went for a ride,a long ride. I bought a cake for my friend`s birthday and enjoyed my ride in the night with cool breeze teasing me.
It was an awesome experience and it changed my mood totally. I was totally charged up for the coming week.

Leaving the "American Dream" behind

It was way back in 2012. It all started with a whirlwind discussion. I was somehow not ready for it. But later I agreed. I went to Baroda for my TOEFL and the application procedure started. I was applying for MS in various universities in USA. I had to write SOP, visit my professors n number of times for the recommendation letters which I hated the most. I had to visit Pune university for the transcripts. The international courier service center at the prabhat road corner was like my second home. It was indeed a very long procedure involving lot of efforts and money. But doing it on my own was a different joy altogether.
It was all done. And then the worst part started, the waiting period.  I waited for almost a month. I used to keep on checking my login pages everyday for all the universities. And then, on 30 th
April 2012, finally I got an admit. It was a big relief after all. But alas, I didn't have my parents with me to share the joy. Then came another admit. I had applied for three and got two admits. I was the happiest person on this planet.
But the main part of the battle was yet to be won. I started communicating with my Graduate advisor and ordered my I 20 by express delivery. Kathleen or Candy, my Graduate advisor, is one of the warmest persons I have ever met. She always kept me motivated through her emails. In the mean time, the SJSU pune gang started meeting up for finalising various things. From sharing their VISA experiences to finalizing the roomies everything was done. We had gelled with each other and I made some real good friends like Sonia, Sagar, Shilpa,Anita, Akshay and Saurabh.
I booked my VISA appointment at Mumbai on 20 th June. I was scared by looking at the trend of rejecting the VISA for SJSU people. But then I still went ahead. I thoroughly prepared for all questions. My financial documents were strong. I had prepared by looking at all interview experiences I read on edulix. Everyone`s best wishes were with me and then the day arrived. I couldn't sleep the previous night. I went to BKC with my mum. It was raining. My mami had prepared some amazing breakfast for me.
After having it, I entered the consulate with my heart beating really fast. I had to sit for about half an hour. With small babies crying around and all the nervous atmosphere around I became more nervous. My token number was displayed and I was called for the interview. My interviewer was a black lady, she asked me few random questions and then gave me my passport back. With that was a slip saying that my Visa was rejected because I was not able to prove that I was a potential immigrant. I obviously had a heart break. But there were many people like me around.
It was a shock for my parents too. I immediately called few of my friends who had similar experiences and asked for their advice. I got a few advises and I finally decided to follow the most wise one. I booked my next appointment in Chennai. My parents decided to accompany me. We booked flight tickets and a hotel nearby the consulate. This time I was prepared for everything. I just went to consulate and sat waiting for my turn. It was amazingly hot in Chennai. This time my interviewer was a pretty american lady. She fired a round of questions and the result atlast was the same. I was much calmer than last time. I came out of the consulate and asked my parents to be calm. We visited Marina beach, did some shopping and flied back to Pune.
After reaching Pune and relaxing for some time, I decided something. I will quit this. Pursuing MS was indeed my dream but now I had decided to give up. Indeed, I was forced by my luck to give up my dream. But I always have a feeling that whatever happens, happens for a reason. I had better things in store for me. I joined MBA at SCIT and I am learning some amazing things there. I met some very good and genuine people here. And now I really feel that whatever happens, seriously happens for a reason.  :-)

Discovering myself..

The title of the post gives you brief idea of the thoughts going on in my mind at this time. What am I and what I want to do with my life? Being a 26 year old I am supposed to have the clarity of thoughts but sometimes I feel I am still confused..

Its more than a month, my beloved Aaji passed away and it just made me think about her journey. Being a selfless teacher for deaf and dumb people, her life is truly an inspiration for all of us. After meeting her students who are now able to communicate with all normal persons, who are earning a living on their own, I just realized the worth of her life. In a span of 88 years, she has changed so many lives.

Coming from a family where most people are in professions such as medical profession and teaching profession, I realize sometimes what do I give back to this society through my profession. As a software professional what do I do for others? Is this what I want to do in my life?

Right from wearing that professional attitude to talking in polished and fluent English to my manager in United States of America, these are not the things I really want to do. I also want to do work that will go beyond earning money and rising up in the career. And now I slowly feel that I really know what I want from my life and what I really want to do in my life.  I have really started discovering myself...